Avoid That Damn Lasagna & Arsenal Don’t do ‘Hatchet Men’
ByI never really figured out whether there was any truth to the accusations levelled against the chefs at Marriott who prepared the infamous lasagne dinner in May 2006.
Dean, My Liverpool supporting friend worked at the Four Seasons at the time and the whisper doing the grapevine within the hotel industry was that the chefs involved were Arsenal season ticket holders.
You will of course understand if I add a big fat ’allegedly’ to that accusation, but you have to admit that it’s damn funny if that were the case.
Encounters with the Spuds usually throw up some sort of drama and tonight’s match is no exception. It’s almost like it’s ’Calamity Spuds’ time and you wonder where the twist will come from.
I would suspect that Harry Redknapp has more on his mind today than he would have wanted to deal with. Getting one over Arsenal in the league is probably hard enough, but I’d hazard a guess that ‘Arry’ will be wondering how events will unfold when he stands in the defendant’s dock at Southwark Crown Court on Friday.
I’m told employers can be quite accommodating when it comes to exploring different ways their employees could work. It’ll be interesting to see how Tottenham could accommodate ‘Arry managing the club if the Gaffa at the Southwark Court decides to give the Spuds manager an invitation to be a guest of the state enjoying Her Majesty’s pleasure.
Not that I’d want to second guess the laws of natural justice that dictate that ‘Arry is innocent unless proven guilty; it’s just funny to think of him running Tottenham from behind bars….but I digress.
There’s a small matter of 3 points to be collected at White Hart Lane and Arsenal have no option but to collect these 3 points if we’re to maintain the title challenge.
The Gunners will be buoyed by the return of our talismanic striker Van Persie, but he is likely to start on the bench. I think it will be premature to expect anything significant from the Dutch ace, and perhaps he would provide more value when we meet Manchester city in 10 days time.
My sense is that Wenger will go for a starting line-up of:
- Almunia
- Sagna, Campbell, Vermaelen, Clichy
- Diaby, Denilson, Nasri
- Walcott, Bendtner, Rosicky
I’d hazard another guess that Van Persie, Eboue, and Eduardo will feature at some point in the game.
Tottenham have their own personnel issues with their hatchet man Wilson Palacios taking a deserved customary break for his propensity to feature in the referee’s little book. Aaron Lennon is also struggling to regain fitness and won’t make the squad.
I was bemused earlier this week when former Arsenal player Perry Groves became Palacios’s agent and started rallying Wenger to purchase the Honduran to run riot in the Arsenal midfield.
To tell you the truth, if some of these guys were good enough at what they proclaim to be in punditry, they’d actually be managers rather than prostituting themselves to every media house for the Queen’s shilling in exchange for an opinion.
Wenger let Palacios go for a reason and I’m still of the view that he’s not of the quality Arsenal need. I’ll go as far as saying that of the so called defensive midfielders in the market today, only Michael Essien and Alex Song fit the bill as ball playing defensive midfielders.
The rest like Palacios, Mascherano, Obi Mikel, Loric Cana and a host of others may be good at doing their ‘hatchet man’ impressions, but that’s all they do; break up play and sometimes with a tint of a violent streak for that is what the urban myth about defensive midfielders suggests.
You know it’s that one man action hero of the Chuck Norris ’I’ll-stop-anything-that-comes-towards-me-at-all-cost’ legend. You don’t really need to play football, you just have to scare the living shit out of the opposing team with a blood thumping, rib cracking menacing demeanour that would make Tony Soprano’s henchmen look like saints.
In case these guys hadn’t noticed, Alex Song, Denilson and even Craig Eastmond have performed really well and they actually play some football while at it. Arsenal’s game isn’t just about ’breaking up play’ – we’re more into ball playing midfielders who contribute to the overall game rather than just stop play and yet have questionable attacking instincts.
Tottenham’s tactical options will probably revolve around using Peter Crouch, but Arsenal were comfortable when dealing with the lanky fella in the reverse fixture at the Emirates. Besides, when Tottenham play Crouch, they naturally gravitate towards lumping the ball forward in hope that Crouch might do something with it.
The Spuds will be reeling from the disappointment of being dumped out of what looked like a shoe-in into the FA cup final, and in truth, they only have themselves to blame. The elusive coveted 4th spot for a champions league place also seems like slipping away and they will be desperate to make amends.
We’ll know tonight whether a desperate Tottenham will suit Arsenal fine. From the Gunners point of view, there is zero margin for error and a win is paramount; if only for the reason that it’s against Tottenham.
Wouldn’t it be funny though if they had lasagna last night?
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Tue 13th September 2011; 19:45, Dortmund
I have to say that there are more ways to go about a midfielder protecting his back four than either leg breaking or the all-round mucking in. I personally think that with songs physicality and speed he is fast becoming an indisputable rock in our team.
People doubted him and now I bet they would pick him over anybody currently known and out there.
Song manages to win the ball time and time again with a good footballing brain and strength in shoulder to shoulder situations. As you say Darius he is not of the chuck norris mold, he works on a higher plain.
Not to mention what deni is doing in this late stage of the season, he looked great in the barca tie despite the scoreline. He had a lot to stop and did just that.
He nicks the ball time and time again.
In this department we are looking comfortable for the next few seasons.
Why oh why would anybody mention the name palacios in regard to our team is frankly an insult and joke. Especially when it comes from Perry Shitting Groves.
Anyhooooo.
Good Work Darius
I watched Palacios in the semi. He is slow and cumbersome. How would he cope with the rest of the side playing triangles around him while he struggled to get a touch – before losing it.
Piggy in the Middle anyone?
Very excited to see Robin back.
@CB.
You’re just describing someone who can’t play football and is only effective without the ball (read hatchet man). I think the problem with some of these pundits is that they’re stuck in a time warp of when football used to be what they knew.
ELS – I agree that Song has a lot more to offer and is more skillful than he is given credit for. Deni the same especially since the Brazilian is more adept at intelligently reading the game and influencing the game without the need to tackle ferociously as prescribed by the legend of the defensive midfielder.
But this ‘Arsenal needs a Vieira type hard man’ nonsense has just been taken too far, especially by ex Arsenal players ala Merson, Wright and Groves.
Someone needs to tell them that we’ve upgraded to Arsenal 4.0 since they left and the new improved version is more nimble and plays Wengerball.
What I don’t really understand is how they, as people immersed in football, don’t see that.
Perhaps the issue is that they’re too immersed they don’t know how to rise up from the shit they’re in to get a breath of fresh air and appreciate that the world around them has moved on.
A pack mentality. I was watching ‘Madmen’ last night and a chap who is the Creative Director’ of an Ad Agency was discussing whether we all see the same colours as each other, how would we know, with his latest dalliance, a school teacher.
His view was that it didn”t matter. Most people might be different and say that they wanted to be different but they were lying. If they were seeing different colours, and knew it, they would pretend not to just to fit in. That was his job, to keep us all wanting the same things.
CB…reminds me of the famous saying that aptly captures that pack mentality….
“Never under-estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers”.
I suppose there is also the danger of risking the pay cheque if any of them ever try to go against the grain of the establishment…
CB: Darus just answered your question up there where he said ” they’re stuck in a time warp of when football used to be what they knew”. I don’t think anyone can put it any better than that. If there football knowledge is so great, Why are they not managers? As I said in yesterday’s article, their knowledge of footballing rules (FIFA, etc, Rules) are nonexistent, their knowledge of Rules Interpretation is therefore ZERO. Finito.
Well, that is probably true as far as it goes LRV but then again, we all know more and we aren’t managers.
I always think it interesting that the standard of cricket coverage on Sky is generally very good. Analysis pretty reasoned and hype within bounds. Is is the difference in audience? Cricket followers being more tuned in to their sport and mote knowlegeable? For instance, there is not one England cricket fan who would ever expect us to win the World Cup!
True CB…
Cricket is quite balanced in that respect and the views of the game are not overly sensationalist.
I think part of the drama with football comes with the mystique of the money supposedly involved. I’ll give you an example – how many times have you heard pundits and hacks throw around figures of transfer fees, wages, etc, giving the impression that they have hard facts and that they’re in the know?
I suggest to you that even players don’t know what other players contracts are even though they’re playing for the same team – and these guys would just spew figures out there and it becomes fact…just like that.
As for them becoming managers, one of the most condesending and contemptuous pundits that hates the Arsenal is Steve Claridge.
He tries to portray otherwise but his distaste for Arsenal oozes out of everything he says. Even John Motson has called him to question live on air about his anti-Arsenal stance; and even a fellow commentator in the game against Portsmouth at Fratton Park told him on air to pretty much remove the pole out of his ass and enjoy the game Arsenal were playing.
Funny that Claridge was the Pompey manager for 32 days and they fired him….he couldn’t even get past the first month.
And yet we’re told these are experts.
Well CB, there you’ve nailed it. Football has quite a lot of, as Darius would say, ‘Customers’, who only understand ‘Bragging Rights’ that only comes from winning any-which-way you can. The rules & interpretations thereof are of not so much consequence to quite a lot of them.
There are also those who want to be able to shout the names of the most popular players, albeit not the most skillful. They do not understand the need for balance in a team. They cannot understand the simple fact that different players have different roles in a team, and that sometimes a player’s role may change depending on games or types of opponent, thereby restricting such players from displaying their full range of skills at certain times in a game. That’s why you get some people calling some players ‘shite’ or ‘not fit to wear their club’s shirt’.
Many simply buy into iZombies hypes, and therefore, are not able to manage their own expectations. Simply put, they cannot think for themselves to form their own opinions. They therefore just follow the myopic views of the popular pundits. Yes, a lot of them believe that you just have to turn up and win 6 – 0, even in the world cup.
iZombies. Very good.
I never actually believed all this England World Cup bollocks until standing in the queue for the Post Office the other day I heard two young men in front of me discussing the need “….to keep Rooney wrapped in cotton wool until the World Cup”.
I on the other hand, as an Englishman, would feel sick to my stomach to see the likes of Terry, Rooney, Cole, Lampard and co lift the trophy.
I should be alright then.
I’ve just realsised something else. I despise these ‘stars’ even more for taking away my pleasure in supporting England.
The Cricket World Cup, now that’s another matter.
Hey lads,
Couple of points to add to the discussion:
1) I am totally in agreement on the development of the holding role at Arsenal and Song’s place in it, which is to say that there is no room in Arsenal’s style of game for a traditional break-up man. Any player that wants to play in our system at all, let alone in that role, must have enought skill with his touch to control the ball and sense in his head to make a good first pass to an outlet player, whether that is forward into the engine room or out to the flanks, or even back into control in the defence. Song is ideal in his skill set because he has the physicality to break up play but the skill to play the ball as well.
But there is an added value to Song that has not been discussed and most people miss in the discussion about our holding midfield role. That quality is his versatility. Song is/was originally a central defender, and he can and has played that role for us this season. Having a player who IN ADDITION to being top-class at his assigned role can play at a high level in another position is invaluable. It provide innumerable advantages to Wenger when circumstances change the tactical game.
Red card to a defender? Other managers must spend a substitute on a defender or play with a back three. Not us. We could drop Song back and substitute on an attacker instead (imagine a late red card to Gallas and we’re behind a goal against a good attackign team. We can bring on Theo instead of using that sub on a defender, to try to use his pace to score that goal and not have to risk only three at the back against a good side).
The same is true for injuries, both in a game and over a season. Especially in a system like Arsenal’s, the interchangeability of parts is a crucial advantage. In part, it explains our sustained success despite the list of injuries we’ve had this season. It is another reason why Eboue, expert at no position but jack-of-all-trades, is a valuable player regardless of what the fans or pundits might think.
2) (Sorry this is getting a bit long) – Regarding pundits. I agree that there is a conservative mindset that means most think that the game has always been as they knew it, so it must not/ can not change. But there is more than that. Punditry is inherently conservative because it is an “old boys club” network. The most important thing in getting and keeping a job as a pundit is “clubbability”. You can be wrong, a lot, as long as you do not act in a way that is disloyal to other pundits. Otherwise, no one will want to work with you, and no one will want to employ you. The industry is not designed to have someone intelligently come along and analyze the game and its changing face and point out flaws and errors made by other pundits, players, and managers.
It is much, much better for a pundit to tow the old line, make comments about needing “steel” or whatever, and then later saying “Arsenal got lucky” or even “showed surprising steel I did not think they had”, than to actually make all his co-workers across the country look the fools by saying “there is no need for that concept in football anymore”.
Cheers,
Jon